FIRST baby VS SECOND baby?? Welcome to becoming REFEREE!!

No one else can answer this question better than you. But this is not an easy question, it involves a lot of thinking, such as planning when to stop using birth control, deciding how much time to take off work, and figuring out if you can still afford childcare.

People say that deciding to have a second child is even tougher than deciding whether to have a first because this is just not about having a baby, this is about changing the family dynamic.

With the new child, you have to think about how that baby will affect your lifestyle, work, finances, relationships, and, of course, your other kid/kids. Speaking with other parents we have got this feedback that expanding by one can double the workload.

Listed below are some points to consider before you welcome a second baby into your life:

When is the best time to have another child?

While some couples prefer to wait for several years before they have another baby. That way, the other kid/kids get plenty of individual attention from you and are old enough to understand how another child will change things. Others see it as a benefit to have children close together so that they can be buddies – and so you would not be raising small children for years and years.

Here’s what some AngoHealth moms have to say:

  • “My two girls are three and a half years apart, and I think that the gap between the two is great,” says Reema, an executive at a publishing company. “Since my elder daughter was out of diapers by the time the younger one was born, I think of having a baby again. And they are clearly in different social and developmental zones, so I do not see a lot of sibling rivalry happening. They really enjoy each other’s company.”
  • “Sometimes, I wish there was a bigger age gap between my second child and the new baby says Aastha, a fashion designer by profession – they are only two years apart. I am really worried about having two in diapers at the same time. And I am also concerned about the physical challenge of having two babies who need my constant attention.”

What does the research say about having a second baby?

When it comes to the health of the baby, waiting two to three years before you get pregnant again may be in your baby’s favour.

Studies tell us that getting pregnant within 18 months after the first child is born can make it more likely that the second child will be born early, smaller than the usual or underweight.

Studies also suggest that getting pregnant within 12 months of giving birth, may put the mother at higher risk of placental abruption.

What else can help in making this decision?

Lifestyle

Remember, a baby will take over your life. Decide whether you have the time and energy that a newborn requires, and whether your other kid/kids are ready to face the reality of a new baby in the house.

Financial situation

I totally agree that money is not everything, but it certainly is important when it comes to raising a family. Based on an approximation done by Economic Times in April 2011, the cost of raising a child in India, from birth to age of majority (21 Years) for middle to upper-middle income family is about ₹55 lakh (US$82,000) in total. Therefore, it’s a good idea to plan your financials before you conceive another child.

Your age

Unfortunately, not everything goes according to what we plan. Especially in case of a woman the biological clock is ticking. If you are younger than 30 and do not have any health problems that could result in difficulty in conceiving, you can think of having more than one baby.

Your stance

It is always important to be in sync with your partner when it comes to having babies. It might be difficult and tricky, but the first step is to start talking about this topic with each other.

Share your stories with us on care@angohealth.com and get advice.